


I Hear You Think You're Tough (We Never Back Down From A Fight)

by nicotinewrites



Series: Of Deities and Witches [1]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Agender Dr Emile Picani, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, BAMF Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders, BAMF Deceit | Janus Sanders, BAMF Dr. Emile Picani, Gen, Genderfluid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Genderfluid Deceit | Janus Sanders, Good Sibling Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, M/M, Minor Character Death, Probably ooc, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Quoigender Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Quoigender Sleep | Remy Sanders, Soulmate AU, Sympathetic Sides, but doesn't seem like it at first, god AU, i think, idrk how to call it tbh, slight body horror, sympathetic dark sides, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25901812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicotinewrites/pseuds/nicotinewrites
Summary: Virgil is the Deity of Death, Fear, Change and Terror. Janus is the Deity of Beginnings, Endings, Time, Duality, Deceit and Protection (for the most part). Remus is a witch with a hidden gift, one even he doesn't know about. Together, the three change the fate of the Universe for eternity.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Dark Creavity | Remus Sanders- Eventual, Dark Creativity | Remus & Dr. Emile Picani, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Series: Of Deities and Witches [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896727
Comments: 24
Kudos: 67





	1. You Think You're At The Top (You're Fallin')

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Before you begin, you need to know a few things:  
> This isn't based on Greek and Roman Myths but instead inspired by them. Themis is the Greek Goddess of Justice and in my AU she's basically Zeus. Virgil, Janus and Remy are all Deities and Emile, Remus and Logan are witches. Patton's and Roman's species are yet to be determined. Also, Remus sometimes goes by the nickname Trusi. This is not an original nickname. I found it in a Thomas/Remus fanfic about fae that I can't remember the name of. Shoutout goes to that author for the cute name and just a great fic in general.  
> Anyways, trigger warnings:  
> Death;  
> Swearing;  
> Past Parental Abandonment;  
> Vivid description of a weapon.  
> I think that's it. As always, lmk if there's anymore triggers.  
> Happy reading  
> Ash x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The right thing to do wasn't always the easiest, but that was how life worked. And Death too, Virgil supposed.

The Deity with the ebony hair swept into the room, purple eyes glaring at the Deity in front of him. They all thought they were so perfect, so powerful they weren’t answerable to the same rules that governed those below them. For the longest time, this was the case. But not anymore. Virgil and his people would make sure the Gods were controlled and/or laid to rest, no longer able to interfere in the lives of other species.

“Virgilius, please. If it’s power you want, it’s power you will get. Just, put down the knife. You don’t have to do this.”

Virgil smirked at Themis.

“What’s wrong Mother? Afraid of a little Death? You weren’t when you sent a plague and three fires to five kingdoms. Those poor people must have begged and pleaded with you, praying that you would be merciful and stop your torture. You didn’t though, did you? You killed millions just because a young boy- a boy of sixteen years- didn’t want to lie with you. Then you killed him after he beged you for mercy. Ethics of sleeping with a child put to the side, you are meant to be the Goddess of Justice. If Justice is corrupt, what does that say about the others? Someone needs to hold you to account. If no-one else wants to, then I’ll happily take the burden. It’s kind of ironic though, isn’t it? Death is more compassionate than Justice. Who knew that was possible?” Virgil stopped for a minute, pulling his weapon out of the strap on his leg. “Oh… and my name is Virgil. Virgilius died the day you tried to kill me.”

Themis shook as Virgil slunk forwards, smirk giving way to a vicious grin. The dagger in his hand was more of a scythe, designed to separate the soul from the body. With a Divine Being such as Themis, however, a standard scythe had to be modified since their soul was so corrupted, power infecting them. Virgil and his partner created a new dagger for that reason. It was sharp and slightly curved, with an obsidian handle and scapolite jewels embedded in said handle. The blade itself was double-edged and cruel-looking, obsidian runes etched into it. It hummed with magic, the power reverberating in Virgil’s hand. Holding the dagger, he could understand how the Mother Goddess and his... the others became intoxicated by power. He was just thankful he had a partner who could stop him from being controlled by it.

“With the power of Syphon, I sentence Themis, Mother Goddess, Goddess of Justice and Order to a fate of Death. May the Spirits bless you into being reincarnated as a less power-hungry bitch.”

Virgil tapped the dagger against Themis’s neck. The reaction was instant. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and an orange aura curled off of her body, running down into the dagger. He had to brace himself as her magic ran into the weapon, the sheer strength causing his legs to want to buckle. Tears pricked his eyes as well, as he saw the Goddess who raised him becoming nothing but a soulless and magicless husk. He took the dagger away from her neck and gently wiped it, pulling his shadows around Mother and into Erebos. His legs collapsed underneath him, head pressed against the stone tiles of the Syphon Room (he really needed to create a new name). His body shook uncontrollably as he wept, heart breaking in his chest at what he did. He knew it was the right thing to do- Themis was the reason for millennia of suffering- but it still hurt.

“Hey love. It’s alright to cry. Let it out.”

Three of Jay's hands played with his hair, the other three wrapping around his body. Virgil was glad ze was there, lurking in the shadows as he Syphoned Themis. Ze knew better than anyone else the complicated relationship he had with the once-Goddess. After all, ze was the one who took him in when he was kicked out of the family, shunned for his powers being ‘darker’ and more volatile than his siblings. Along with Hypnos- or Remy, as xe asked them to call xem- Jay taught Virgil how to control his power and that he was not less than just because he was Death. The three went on to form the Uprising, converting thousands of Gods against Themis and her Golden Family (as Remy dubbed them).

“I’m sorry for crying. I just… I thought I would be fine. She abandoned me so I shouldn’t love her.”

“She was still your mother-figure though, love. She raised you for twelve centuries. She may have abandoned you, but it’s only natural you have the reaction you’re having right now. If you didn’t, you’d be just as emotionless as your siblings.”

Virgil nodded, finally melting into Jay’s embrace. The sobs subsided and Jay's gently dried Virgil’s face, kissing him on the cheek afterwards.

“Let’s go, love, yeah? We need to keep our energy up for tomorrow.”

Oh yeah. Tomorrow. The day where they’d finally start sorting out the corruption in the Otherrealms. The day they’d finally begin to put right millennia of Themis’s wrongdoings. And also- unbeknownst to them- the day they’d meet their final soulmate.


	2. I Am A Circus Freak (Tear Me Apart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus was many things: unloved, (mostly) unwanted, unnecessary.  
> Needed was not one of those things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> So, I know I said I'd wait for your opinion and stuff, but I couldn't wait to get this out there. For those who read the My Brother series, don't worry. I have a new installment on the way. That'll take precedence over this, but this will still be published every four weeks or so (or maybe earlier, who knows?)  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Talks of Abandoment;  
> Slight Body Horror (i think- there's sewn lips);  
> Implied Parental Abuse (think that's how you call it);  
> Remus Being Remus

Remus was thirteen when ve was abandoned in the forest after ve came out, but ve supposed vis parents had metaphorically abandoned them for many years before that. Ve had no regrets over coming out, but just wished vis siblings came to visit ver or left with ver. Remus knew vis siblings were terrified of vis parents and just wanted to be a good older brother and protect them. Not that ve could when ve was four hours away from ver old kingdom. But it was no big deal. When ve had enough coins to get passage to and from Aldrisi, Remus would rescue vis siblings and they’d have some semblance of a happy ever after together.

If vis lips didn’t scare them off, like they did with everyone else.

Remus looked at vis appearance in the water, trailing vis fingers against vis lips. The black thread which sewed them shut was frayed, a result of being in vis lips for eight years. Ve tried everything to get rid of the string at first. Ve cut and ve scraped; he heaved and he pulled. It just hurt more so one day ve gave up.

Remus’s appearance was part of the reason for living in the woods. That and ve felt at peace there, the magic inside of ver bleeding out slowly and finding calmness in the isolation. Someone new to speak to would be nice, but it’s not like ve could have a verbal conversation with them. Ve talked to Emi whenever fae popped round, ankles and wrists covered in protective jewellery. Fae was the only person who wanted to speak to vem, learning sign language so they could chat. It was with faer that Remus laughed, not minding the way the thread pulled at ver lips.

“I kid you not, Trusi. Xe flirted with me for thirty whole minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever been flirted with for that long before.”

“Did you give xyr your number?”

“Obviously. I need to get Ma off mine and Logan’s case. She’s always begging me to date, and if I don’t she’ll bother Logan instead. However, if I have to date then you’re coming with me. Xe has two friends who are together and polyamorous. You’ll go on a date with them.”

Remus sighed. Ve knew that was coming. Fae said the same thing every time fae went on a date, hoping fae would help Remus finally find a significant other or two (or more. Remus wasn't picky.). However, the dates never worked the way either of them planned it.  


“No, Emi. You know what’ll happen if I go. They’ll take one look at my lips and freak out. And even if they don’t, how’ll we talk? Most people around here don’t sign.”

“Good thing they’re from the Quisaka Kingdom. Remy too. And xe promised xe would beat their asses if they act up or make you uncomfortable. And I’ll beat xyr ass in response. Just, don’t knock it until you try it. You never know. They may be your soulmates.”

Remus rolled ver eyes in response.

“Soulmates don’t exist, Emi. You know that.”

“Yeah, but I like to pretend they do. After Mina, I want to pretend that love- real, true, romantic and healthy love- can be out there.”

Remus nodded, squeezing faer hand in response. Remus really wanted to find Mina and rip her spine out, garrotte her with it and display her body on her balcony as a warning for all who dared to mess with Emi, but knew fae wouldn’t want that. And ve wasn't about to go against Emi’s wishes.

They were best friends, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in for a ride now, dear readers *laughs menacingly*  
> Also, if you guys have any tips on how to write with neopronouns, please let me know. I haven't done it before so this is new for me.


	3. It's Everything You Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our three protagonists finally meet (and sparks fly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Chapter three of this little fic already. Whoiee.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Food;  
> Remus Being Remus;  
> Implied sexual content  
> Happy reading!  
> Ash x

Janus was sat by the vanity, trying to glamour the iridescent yellow and orange scales that covered the left side of his face. He also was glamouring his eyes, both too beautiful to belong to a human, but it didn’t seem to work. He huffed a little, eyes catching his love trying to put on a suit. Virgil complained at the constrictive trousers, lamenting the loss of his skirt.

“Why can’t male-presenting humans just wear skirts? Much more freeing.”

“Yes love, but you are so delectable in trousers. Wear them and I’ll make it worth your while tonight.”

Virgil’s eyes darkened, Shadowing over to where Janus stood at the vanity.

“Will you now? Is that a promise?”

“Yes, love. Now quit trying to distract me and help me tie this tie.”

“For a powerful Deity, you really are a mess when it comes to human fashion.”

“Please. You just spent ten minutes with the buttons of your shirt.”

“They’re hard to do!”

Janus shook his head, laughing at Virgil. His love was hopeless when it came to buttons, his strength pulling them off one by one. Or sometimes all at once. It depended on how well Janus worked him the night before.

“Jan, do we really have to go on this date? We have Kingdoms to topple and Gods to destroy.”

“We deserve to have fun, love. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find a lay for the night. Get rid off all that pent-up energy you have.”

Quick as a flash, Virgil had Janus pinned against the wall, right arm pressed against his neck and left leg lodged between his thighs.

“If you had let me love you last night, I wouldn’t have broken all of the buttons off the shirt. Let me show you what happens when you turn me down.”

“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be. With you on top and me begging, yeah? You love that don’t you, my big bad Deity. But we both know who’s in charge here, and it certainly isn’t you.”

Virgil placed a kiss to the shell of Janus’s ear and bit down. Janus gasped, wrapping two of his hands around Virgil’s waist. A third trailed downwards, causing Virgil to moan.

“Make it quick. And leave no marks. You can do that after our date.”

**--**

Remus’s hands shook in her pockets as she made her way out of the forest, body clad in a dark green shirt, black skirt and black/green patterned knee-length socks. Her white piece of hair was plaited and pinned back, the rest left to be curly and unruly.

“You look nice, Trusi. They won’t know what hit them.”

“Oh please. I’ll be overshadowed by you. Why do you have to look so sexy? Seriously. You’ll be stealing my spotlight. Not fair hon.”

Emi rolled faer eyes, trying to hide faer blush. Fae gently tugged on faer dress- a long Mickey Mouse t-shirt with a red belt- and swiped the pink hair out of faer eyes. The eyes themselves were golden-brown, dark pink eyeshadow causing faer eyes to pop. Bright red lipstick was on faer lips, highlight glistening on faer cheekbones. If they weren’t strictly platonic after their three-month-long relationship, Remus would have shagged fae by now. No doubt about it.

“I’m sure that’s not true. Just try and have an open mind. Don’t assume that because everyone else was awful, they’ll be awful too. If they’re anything like Remy, they’ll be real sweethearts. Hot sweethearts, but sweethearts nonetheless.”

It was Remus’s turn to roll her eyes.

“The only hot sweetheart around is you, hon. No-one else can be sweet and hot at the same time. It’s not possible.”

Emi laughed, a pretty blush rising on faer cheeks. The two of them had been flirty-friendly for as long as they’d been friends. Emi had low self-esteem so Remus saw it as her duty to raise fae up at all costs. And if she ever played with a knife or a Morningstar around people who made her best friend cry, well. It was their fault for starting it.

They walked out of the forest, Remus holding Emi’s hand in a bid to stop fae from snapping a heel. She would have carried faer but fae didn’t like that happening in public. Emi looked left and right before nodding at Remus, who emitted a dark green light before encasing both of them in it. It dropped them in the middle of Trakis, the border town between Quisaka and Noros, the Kingdom they were currently in. Most people with Remus’s power would have used it in the forest, but she never liked to do that. She took a lot from the forest as it was, after all. No point in taking more than was necessary.

Remus let go of Emi’s hand, the enby leading them to a small restaurant on the outskirts of town. It was situated on the pier, looking out on the first island of Quisaka. It had purple, green and yellow fairy lights strung on the balcony and small garden at the front, the plants humming with an energy that made Remus feel pleasant.

“Hey Emile! You look fucking stunning. I… You look gorgeous.”

Emi blushed, Remus smirking.

“Told ya,” she signed, extremely smug. Emi just flicked her off and looked at Remy- at least Remus assumed the sunglass-clad figure was xem- eyes drinking in xyr curves like fae was dying of thirst and xe was the only drink around.

“When you two are done eye-fucking each other, dya mind introducing me to my dates? Least you can do, since you dragged me here.”

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Janus, and this beautiful man besides me is Virgil. You must be Remus, yes?”

Remus nodded, startled as she didn’t know anyone who signed other than Emi.

“Kall… shit, that’s nit roght… Sorry, I’m not usually this flustered. Call me Trusi. My nickname.”

“Cute,” Virgil replied, dark eyes scanning Remus’s body. His eyes were a dark grey, the colour of clouds during a storm, and there was something dangerous about it. It made a small heat pool in Remus’s stomach.

“Should we head inside then? It seems your friend already has.” Janus offered Remus their arm, smirking at her blush. She gently placed her arm on theirs and they walked in, Virgil walking next to her with a possessive hand on her waist.

They walked into the restaurant and Virgil pulled up a chair for her to sit down. He did the same for Janus, and got a heavy kiss in response, Virgil’s knees buckling. They pulled away and he swept some of his hair in front of his eyes, trying to hide his blown pupils.

“So Trusi, you come to this town often?”

“No. It’s Emi’s regular haunt, but not mine. I tend to stay in the forest or around N’tambi. Some of the villagers are deaf or mute so I help them out. They pay me enough. What about you?”

“We come here sometimes, but not that often. It’s Remy’s birthplace though, so xe spends more time here than where we live. Where xe met Emi actually. She-“

“Fae.”

“Sorry?”

“Faer pronouns. They’re fae/faer.”

“You’re a good friend, you know that Trusi? Anyways, as I was saying, fae definitely caught our Remy’s eye. Been waxing poetry about faer gorgeous eyes.”

“They are very nice eyes, to be fair. Faer legs though… Whoiee. That’s where it’s at.”

“You two seem pretty close.”

“Yeah. Fae were the first person I met in Noros after faer Mama. Emi and I dated for a few months. It was only for sex and we both decided we didn’t want to use each other anymore. So we became friends and I wouldn’t want it any other way… But what about you two? Emi says you’ve been together for seven years?”

“Yeah,” Virgil smiled, fiddling with his suit sleeves. “We met at school… and became friends. Then we turned… seventeen and Jan asked me out. I said yes and the rest is history… as your people say.”

“And I’ve never regretted a moment shared between us since. You make me better, love.”

“That’s so cute.”

Remus’s heart melted at the way Virgil smiled at Janus, pressing his hand against their cheek. They gently grabbed their hand and kissed it, Virgil blushing. Most people would have felt a bit left out or weirded out, seeing their dates kiss. But Remus wasn’t most people. She was just happy they were happy, and that they seemed interested in her. Even if it was just for the night. She had a feeling they were freaky in bed, and she sure wanted to be part of that. 

Just as she was about to say something more, the waiter appeared. It was then that Remus realised she had to eat in public. Something she avoided ever since the last time. She shoved that worry down and let Janus order for her, feeling that heat grow larger in her stomach. She loved being looked after in romantic relationships, and she could tell that Janus was a total dom. If they got together- with Virgil, of course- she knew there would be a lot of fun and memorable times.

“So, Virgil. What do you do as a job?”

Both Virgil and Janus shared a look, Janus shaking his head. Remus pretended not to notice- but she knew they knew she knew- and waited for the answer.

“I do a few things. I’m a writer, artist and stage manager.”

“Nice. What about you Janus?”

“I’m a lawyer. You said that you work with some of the deaf people in your village. Do you have another job or?”

“Kinda. I sew clothes for some of the villagers and even for others in Noros. I also teach some of the kids how to draw and write, but it’s sign-only. Seeing as I can’t talk.”

And just like that, the amicable mood was destroyed. Virgil’s storm grey eyes and Janus’s heterochromatic ones- one was pure gold and the other a dark brown, darker than her own hair- zoned in on her lips.

“Do you mind if I ask who did this to you?”

“Oh, it was Mother. She didn’t like that her perfect “son” was talking about violent and disgusting things. She had my lips sewn shut at the age of seven. Would have done it earlier but wanted to make sure she had another heir in case I died. Then I came out at the age of twelve and she kicked me out. Emi’s mama found me and took me in, but I left at the age of fifteen. Settled in the woods and it’s where I’ve lived ever since.”

The words just poured out, as if someone was compelling her to say what she just did. Virgil’s grey eyes turned a dark grey, an almost black, silver flickering within them.

“Do you like the woods then?” Janus asked, sensing the shift in their lover.

“Oh yeah. It’s not judgemental. There’s no worry about human interaction and everything I need I can get. I would never be able to live in a city. Even a town like this would be too much.”

“Did you grow up in the woods?”

Remus shook her head.

“Nope. Lived in Aldris til I was twelve. Enough about me though. I want to hear about you two. You both live in Quisaka, yeah? What’s that like? I hear they’re the most of liberal of Kingdoms, if you don’t include Erebos.”

“I was born in Erebos, actually,” Virgil signed, eyes lightening. “Moved to Quisaka when I was around… eleven because of f-a-m-i-l-y reasons. Met Jan and Rem and never looked back. As for Jan, well. He’s always been a Quisaki for as long as I’ve known him.”

“What can I say?” Janus added, taking a sip from his wine afterwards. “It has everything I need. Well…” He stopped to scan Remus, once again smirking at her blush. “Almost everything. Having a certain Aldrisi beauty on my arm would make my already wonderful life just a little better.”

Remus was thankful for the waiter interrupting, giving her an excuse to break eye-contact, Janus’s beautiful eyes making every little part of her feel aflame. She took a piece of her steak and widened her lips, the thread unravelling a little. Then she placed the steak on her tongue and began to chew.

“If Virgil is ok with that, then I’ll gladly take you on the offer. Only if you make it worth my while though.”

“What would you propose?” Virgil asked, eyes on Remus and Remus alone.

“I’ve been told that you Quisakis are pretty good in bed. Prove that and I’ll consider staying.”

“Deal. Let’s finish this, and then we can move on to dessert.”

Remus had a feeling it wouldn’t be ice-cream the two Quisakis would be eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking of doing a separate smut book for this series. What do you guys think?


	4. Pardon All My Precious Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring Remus basking in the afterglow, and a necessary talk between the two Deities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Implied/Referenced Sex;  
> Intrusive Thoughts of Suicide (brief, but be careful lovelies);  
> Janus Being Slightly Horny.  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash x

Remus woke up entangled in Janus’s and Virgil’s arms. He ached from the night before, but it was a good ache. He felt fully satisfied, something he hadn’t been since sleeping with Emi. He felt safe lying in Virgil’s arms, Janus spooning him. It was weird being the little spoon- and the bottom- but with the two Quisakis it felt right. He felt safe and… protected. If they wanted him around, he knew he’d fall for them quickly.

_ Not that they would want you around. I mean… Your own mother left you and mutilated you. With a good reason, mind. You’re a monster. You should just do everyone a favour and die. It’ll be easy. Just take Virgil’s knife and stab yourself. Or get Janus to bite you and put the venom in. Make it quick though. They’ll wake up soon. _

The feeling of safety broke when the thoughts came. It had been two weeks since the last time so that improved massively. It was just irritating when they happened, especially around lovely company.

“Hey darling. Morning. You alright?”

Remus nodded, cuddling into Virgil’s chest. The stormcloud kissed his head and wrapped his arms tighter around his waist. Janus grumbled in response, shifting to effectively pin Remus to Virgil’s chest, not that he was complaining. Virgil was so warm and his chest was just firm enough to be a nice pillow, instead of a hard brick, against his head.

“You’re a little octopus, you know that right? So adorable.”

“You’re also a liar. Virgil asked you if you’re alright and you said yes but that’s not true. Why?”

“Jan, not right now. Interrogate him later. Let’s just cuddle in peace. The poor guy is probably exhausted from last night. I know I am.”

Even though he couldn’t see their face, Remus knew Janus was rolling their eyes. Remus was ready for an argument to break out only for them to kiss his neck, making him sigh happily.

“Yup, definitely adorable. Can we keep him, Jan?”

“Please do. Best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Stick around and we’ll make sure you get the best you deserve, when you want it.”

“I can’t refuse that offer. Let me nap first though.”

That’s what Remus meant to sign. Instead, his hands just moved in a jumble, making Virgil and Janus laugh. The latter kissed Remus’s neck again, pushing him into sleep. 

**--**

“We should tell him, Jani. He needs to know we’re not who we say we are.”

Jani shook her head, gently untangling herself from Trusi’s back. She felt no shame in admitting that she used some of her magic to lull Trusi into sleep, knowing the two Deities needed to talk.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“If you’re afraid of what it’ll do to our revolution, think about it. The spirits and witches want to see one of their own working with us before they become our allies. If they see he’s with us, they’ll join the cause.”

“He’s gone through too much, love. That’s what I’m worried about. If your siblings or one of the Opposition find out that we have a loved one- a witch nonetheless- they’d use him as a weakness. Or even worse, they’d use Emi as well. Rem is in agreement. We won’t tell them who we are. We can’t.”

Virgil sighed, looking at the beautiful witch sleeping in his arms, his moustache and drool probably tickling his bare chest (a chest Jani loved to trail her tongue down and leave bruises on).

“Are we stupid, wanting him to join our relationship? I mean, obviously now is too soon but if we do, is there any point? If we can never be honest with him, should we even think about inviting him? If he somehow finds out, he’ll be heartbroken and betrayed.”

Jani nodded, internally cooing at how honourable and sweet her love- her soulmate- was.

“How about this? If we can figure out a way to protect him, a way to make sure he’s safe from everyone who would want to exploit him, we’ll tell him. If we can’t, we won’t.”

Virgil nodded, wrapping his arms tighter around Trusi. He was obviously smitten with the witch already- that much was clear- and Jani hated the idea of breaking his heart. She wasn’t as enamoured as he was yet, but knew she was pretty close to selling her soul to their pretty witch (she even started referring to him as theirs. She was in deep trouble).

“Try to cheer up, love. We don’t want him to think anything is wrong when he wakes up. We do need to interrogate him at breakfast though. He lied to us and I want to make sure he’s ok.”

“How long til then?”

Trusi started stirring in his arms, making cute puffing noises.

“About now, it seems. I’ll get everything sorted. You look after him.”


	5. I've Created A Monster, A Hell Inside My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a very interesting night, featuring breakdowns, comfort and Dukexiety feels. Lots and lots of Dukexiety feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I literally don't know what happened here. I had plans for there to be more Anxceitmus fluff, but Dukexiety hijacked the plot. Sorry not sorry.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Intrusive thoughts;  
> Suicidal thoughts;  
> Spiralling thoughts;  
> Panic attack;  
> Mention of drowning;  
> Self-worth issues (not explicit, but it's there);  
> Implied sexual content.  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx

“Hey darling. Glad to see you’re back with us. Jani made some breakfast if you want to join us.”

Remus groaned before cuddling up onto the pillow next to him. It was so soft yet strong, appendages running through his hair and causing him to melt.

Wait. Most pillows didn’t have appendages.

Remus cracked his eyes open, Virgil looking down at him. He kept moving his hand through his hair and Remus had to do everything he could to stop himself from leaning into the touch. He loved people he was fond of playing with his hair, and there was no denying he was fond of Virgil or Jani.

“C’mon darling. If you don’t come down stairs the food will get cold and Jani will be upset. You wouldn’t like her when she’s upset, believe me.”

Remus whined at the idea of getting out of the nice warm bed. Virgil laughed at that.

“You really have no shame, do you? Fine. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

One moment Remus was wrapped in fluffy duvets. The next, he was swept out of the bed and in the kitchen, Virgil holding him princess-style.

“Morning, loves,” Jani said, signing. “Put Trusi down before he falls asleep, eh Virge?”

Virgil did as he was told, setting Remus on a chair by the massive oak table. He then sat next to him, wrapping his arms around him.

“You’ll have to forgive the cuddlebug Virgil’s become. He always gets clingy after sex. Especially when it was as rough as it was last night. Are you ok, by the way? Any pain and discomfort?”

“Yeah, but I can manage.”

“Here’s the thing about Jani, Trusi. She’ll roast me for being a cuddlebug, but she’s the one that will aftercare you for the rest of the week if you let her. Trust me.”

“You love it though, love, don’t you?” Jani asked, passing Virgil and Remus both a plate.

“You know I do, darling.”

Remus paid them no mind and started eating, Virgil begrudgingly letting go of him. The taste of smoked salmon on eggs brought him back to when he lived in Aldrisi, Patton refusing to eat anything but that. He remembered Roman complaining and Cook serving him boiled cabbage with cold beans as a warning. The memory was bittersweet, filling Remus with joy and sorry. He missed his siblings so much and wanted more than anything to keep them safe.

_Not like they’d even remember you. It’s been six years. Patton was only four when you left, and Roman was ten. Sure, Roman will remember you, but would he help Patton remember you? Probably not. Why would he? You don’t deserve to be remembered._

“Trusi? You back with us? You zoned out for a minute there.”

Remus smiled, internally cursing himself. Virgil and Jani were catching onto his thoughts and he didn’t like that at all. Usually he wouldn’t care about hiding his thoughts, choosing to blurt them all out because he knew it was easier for him to deal with. But when he was around Virgil and Jani, he felt like he had to hide them. He wanted them to like him for him and didn’t want to scare them away. He was just happy his lips were sewn shut. There was no way of him blurting out his thoughts that way, even if it meant they tore through his head and left him reeling completely. It probably wasn’t healthy, but if it meant having the two in his life (in any form, even if just meant being fuck-friends) he would happily do it.

_That means getting past Jani though, and she has a sixth sense for spotting you lying. You heard the way she immediately realised you were lying when you got bad thoughts the first time. She’s going to grill you for lying to them and that could ruin your relationship before it even starts. You don’t deserve a relationship with them if you keep lying. You should have listened to me and stabbed yourself with Virgil’s knife. We’re in a kitchen now though, and there are plenty of knives around. Do it, coward._

“ **Remus, I’m going to need you to breathe in for four for me. Now hold for seven. And release for eight. That’s it Trusi. You’re doing great. Keep going”**

Remus was cut out of his spiral by Virgil’s voice, breaking through his loud thoughts in a way that no one could ever do before. Any other time and he would have been a little shocked, but he was willing to let his racing mind be calmed down this time. The need for some sort of peacefulness greatly outweighed his embarrassment at this point, even though he knew he was probably going to think about it later on. When he was away from the two Quisakis because of his own lies.

“ **Don’t listen to those voices in your head, Trusi. I know what it’s like to be haunted by them, thinking that they’re true since they come from you. But they’re not true. Whatever the voices are saying, they’re not true. You just need to keep breathing. That’s all you have to do now. Just keep breathing.”**

They must have sat there for a while, Virgil leading Remus through the breathing exercises and talking him down whenever the thoughts grew too loud. It was like he knew almost exactly what the voices were saying and when they got too overwhelming. It felt weird, but Remus kinda liked having someone who knew exactly how to talk him. Even if that meant Virgil undoubtedly went through the same thing. He didn’t like that idea at all, but found the will to push it aside and focus on the Quisaki’s voice.

Finally, the voices calmed down. Remus looked up from where he was (he hadn’t even realised he was on the floor, curled in a ball like he was trying to remake his experience in the womb), Virgil crouched near to him. He was close enough that he could see those beautiful eyes grey eyes of his, eyes that were once again an almost-charcoal black, silver flashes appearing occasionally. It was like watching a storm up-close, a beautiful feat of nature that was deadly to those who got too close.

“Trusi, do you mind if I come closer?”

Remus nodded, forgetting how to sign for a moment. Virgil crept forwards, watching Remus with a gaze usually seen on a predator stalking its prey. Normally that thought would have made Remus shiver with delight, but even he didn’t get horny after a panic attack. Instead it made him feel almost intimidated, like Virgil was looking into his soul and seeing everything he found ugly. Still, he was a slut for touch (both sexual and non-sexual) and he needed comfort. Virgil moved closer still until Remus could see the old eyeliner smeared under his eyes and feel his cool breath against his skin. Remus wanted nothing but to dive into his arms and had to ignore every urge to do so. He wouldn’t want to hold Remus anymore, not after he showed just how fucked-up he was. Besides, he knew he was just a one-night-stand- something to satiate their hunger and spice up their life a little. There was no way they’d want him hanging onto them like an octopus, as he did with Emi or sometimes Logan. They just wanted sex and Remus was alright with th-

Oh.

Warmth was all Remus could feel as Virgil wrapped his arms around him. It was a weird warmth, like when you put your hand in a raging fire and felt cold, but it was so worth it. Remus had to stop himself from melting into the touch like a little kitten, but Virgil wasn’t having any of it.

“You are allowed to hug me back if you want, Trusi. I wouldn’t be holding you if I wasn’t ok with it.”

At those words, Remus practically melted into Virgil’s embrace, placing his face in the crook of Virgil’s neck. He wrapped his arms around Virgil’s torso (and oh what a torso it was) and hung onto him like he was a life-raft and Remus a sailor about to drown. Virgil’s hugs were so much different than Emi’s, all powerful and measured. It was like he had calculated just how much strength it took to make the perfect hug and applied the formula perfectly. Part of Remus wondered if he could ever get Virgil to share the formula with Logan in the future, but that was a fleeting thought. All that mattered was the weird warmth and the protection Remus felt in his arms. He never wanted the moment to end, so obviously it had to.

“Jani wants to talk to you, Trusi,” Virgil said, voice reverberating through Remus. “Both of us do, in fact. You’ve been keeping things from us and that’s fine. You’re allowed to have your own secrets, especially since we’re basically strangers. But when it gets to the point where you’re having a zone out or panicking because of us, we have to make sure we can help you so it doesn’t happen again.”

Remus’s lips quirked at the way Virgil said ‘having a zone out’, finding it cute, until he realised what Virgil was saying.

“Wait, you think this was because of you? It’s not. It’s just me. It’s how I am and yeah. It’s not because of you, I promis-“

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Virgil hastily said, squeezing him tighter as a way of showing he wasn’t mad. “I’m Erebos-born, remember? Making a promise with someone like me is a bad idea.”

Remus didn’t know what he was talking about, but at this point he’d do anything to please him. He deserved it, since he talked him down from a panic attack and then chose to cuddle with him in the aftermath.

“Ok. Do we have to get up immediately though? You’re comfy and I don’t want to get up.”

Virgil chuckled, kissing Remus on his head.

“I’m afraid we do, darling. Now hold on.”

Virgil shifted his arms so Remus was held princess-style and stood up in one fluid motion. Remus clung onto him with all his might, not wanting to fall. He knew he did it earlier on and didn’t drop him but it didn’t mean the same thing would happen again.

The cold whoosh of air went by and Remus found himself deposited on a couch, the room itself decorated but not overtly so. It was lavish and reminded him of home, in a way that didn’t make him feel sick to his stomach like it usually would have. It was probably because Virgil was by his side, hand on his thigh. Jani was situated on the other couch, one leg crossed over the other and hands wrapped around a jewel-encrusted goblet. Virgil rolled his eyes when he saw it.

“Really Jani? Drinking already? It’s not even midday yet.”

Jani fixed him with a deadpan look. “It’s soup,” she said, chugging the contents in a smooth motion. Virgil smirked at Remus.

“See what I have to put up with? You’d have thought by now she would know better than to drink at this time.”

“Oh please. You make it seem like I’m an alcoholic. It’s a potion and you know it.”

The two bickered good-naturedly, obviously using it as a way to distract Remus from the nerves he felt. It worked for the most part, until Jani spoke up again.

“Earlier this morning I asked how you were. You lied and said you were fine. I didn’t push it because I understood that you didn’t want us to pry, considering we’re not close.” Jani paused, placing her goblet down and giving her partner a look. “Well… not emotionally or mentally close.”

“We get it, we’re strangers. Could you just cut to the chase already?”

Jani glared at Virgil and he smirked again. The sexual tension was getting pretty tense and Remus had no clue if he was there for it or not.

“What I’m trying to say, and I’m sure Virgil has said it already, is that I get that we barely know each other. In the future we might become closer, but right now we’re not. You’ll keep things from us and we’ll do the same to you. That’s perfectly fine and understandable. However, what isn’t understandable is hiding your struggles until the point of a breakdown. It’s not good for you, Trusi. We need to know how to avoid hurting you if we’re to continue whatever this is.”

“Why are you guys so sure it’s your fault?” Remus asked. “What happened there was nothing to do with you. It happens sometimes and I just have to deal.”

“What happened exactly?”

Remus’s hands shook at Janus’s question. He started picking at the skin on his hands only for Virgil gently pull his hands away from each other. The hand on his left thigh moved to hold his left hand, squeezing gently. Remus shot Virgil a thankful look and took a minute to think what he was going to say.

“I have intrusive thoughts. Usually they’re manageable and not that bad. Things I can ignore, like pushing Logan- Emi’s little sib- down the stairs or smashing a plate on faer head. Sometimes though… sometimes they’re worse. They tell me to take a weapon and stab myself, or that I’m worthless or that everyone hates me… And even then, that’s not how bad it gets.”

“You don’t need to tell us, little octopus.”

“No, I do. Just give me a second.”

Virgil nodded and gently wiped away the tears that were trickling down Remus’s face.

“Sometimes… Sometimes I’m reminded of things that used to happen back in the castle. I hear the voices of my parents telling me I’m weak, or feel what they used to… do to me. I hear the voice of my mother tell me it’s my fault if something bad happens to my siblings because I left them. I hear voices telling me I deserve to be forgotten by them because I abandoned them. I hear voces telling me I should remove myself from the equation so I don’t hurt Emi, Logan or their Mama the way I hurt my siblings. And… I hear voices telling me I’m not worthy of a relationship with you because I’m a monster. I destroy everything I touch, even if it’s not intentional. You should just let me leave before I hurt you too. I can’t… I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I hurt you.”

Virgil let out a wounded noise. He looked so sad, eyes knowing as he offered Remus the grounding he so desperately needed. Remus didn’t understand why he looked so empathetic until he remembered the other’s words: “I know what it’s like to be haunted by the voices, thinking that they’re true since they come from you.” Oh shit.

Remus started backtracking, trying not to hurt Virgil anymore than he already had. He should have just stayed home and refused to go on a date with them, even if Emi tried to beat his ass.

Oh shit. Emi.

“Emi, oh fuck I forgot about faer. Faer Mama needs them to make potions and look after the clients when she’s gone. Do you know where fae’s at?”

Virgil and Jani exchanged a look and Jani nodded.

“Virgil will go get them. They’re in Rem’s quarters. Xe likes the privacy and all. Your friend is safe with xem and you’re not leaving until we talk this all out.”

“What? I already told you about the intrusive thoughts. What more do you expect from me?”

At this point, Virgil squeezed his hand then got off the couch, kissing his head before he went. He gave Jani a look and she rolled her eyes, blushing nonetheless. He walked out of the room and up the stairs, the other two watching him go.

“I want you to know that you can never hurt us. We’re powerful beings, Trusi. A simple injury or poison couldn’t kill us, believe me. Many have tried.”

Well, that’s pretty foreboding. And also kinda hot.

“Thank you.”

“Shit, I said that out loud didn’t I?”

Jani chuckled, playing with her gloved hands.

“Yes, you did love. You need to trust me when I say you could never physically hurt either of us, and we’d never let you hurt any of your loved ones or yourself. We care about you and want to keep you safe.”

Remus’s brain short-circulated.

“You care about me?”

Jani nodded.

“Of course, love. How could we not? You’re cute, sexy, good in bed, a little slut, kind-hearted, funny, disturbing, a massive cuddlebug. You’re too adorable to pass on. If you want us, we’d happily start courting you.”

“Courting? What’s that?”

“Oh, I forget. Us Quisakis are pretty formal when it comes to the dating process. We’re different to other kingdoms, in that there is a certain procedure to follow and most stick to it.”

“As long as it doesn’t stop us from fucking, I really don’t mind.”

Jani laughed again, the sound sending shivers down Remus’s spine. She moved forwards to where Remus was sitting, straddling his lap. Remus gasped in shock as she ground her crotch into Remus’s crotch, heat pooling in his stomach.

“Do you really think anything other than lack of consent could stop either of us from wanting to hear those pretty moans of yours? Love, us Quisakis are seen as heathens for a reason. Now relax and let me take care of you, yeah?”

Remus nodded. Being taken care of was truly all he wanted, even if it wasn’t necessarily in the way Jani was implying.


	6. Don't Even Give 'Em A Chance To Knock You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil reveals part of his true nature, and Remile make a proper appearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I'm so sorry this has taken so long. Updates for this will probably be every 6-8 weeks. I'm trying to focus on the MB series, and my A-Levels as well.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Suicide mention;  
> Torture mention;  
> Rape/non-con mentioned;  
> Fire mention;  
> Plague mention;  
> Death mention;  
> Blood mention.  
> I think that's it. If you guys want a summary at the end, or see anything else that needs mentioning, let me know.  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx

Virgil was never really one for following rules. He was a Deity after all. Rules imposed on most other species were arbitrary to him, nothing more than a couple of words spoken or inked onto a piece of paper. Besides, his very own power had only one rule. There were no rules, only inevitability.

That being said, there were some rules he followed. His own moral code, if Deities raised by Themis could even have a sense of morality. The rules were simple: if there’s any injustice out there that you see happening, fight it; always be true to the Revolution (and the other two members of the Triad- an easy rule to follow considering how much he loved his fellow Uprisers); protect the weak whenever possible, especially in Death; and finally, support others when they can’t support themselves. Those rules were more ones that belonged to the Revolution than Virgil, even though he wholeheartedly believed in them.

There were only three codes he had that belonged to him and not the Revolution: never use any unnecessary power on those who don’t deserve it, never let people make a promise to you and never, ever, let your emotions (even the weaker ones) control you.

There was a reason for those three rules, and no-one- apart from himself and well… _them_ \- knew why. Of course, his love and Remy knew he had the rules but the reason behind it was a secret he refused to give them. Simply because, it was a matter of life and death. Or well, a matter of life and Death.

See, every species out there believed in some sort of Death-figure and the Devil. Most believed that the Devil and Death were two different things, fates interwoven but never truly meeting. According to most species’ folklore and mythology, the two were two planets locked in an orbit. They depended on each other for their own existence but that was about it. Others thought that the Devil and Death were almost like siblings, born from the same necessity but having their own roles to play.

And in a way, that was true. Only, Virgil was both the Devil and Death (as well as other roles bestowed upon him). That’s why he refused to make a promise with Remus, knowing the Aldrisi saying of what happens when a deal to the Devil is made. The last thing he wanted was for Remus’s soul to be sold to him of all people, even if he was the only person (he loved that word. It was on the nose and yet so not at the same time) who could actually receive souls. Even if a someone was to make a deal with an Erebosti or a wraith or any other species that fed on souls, he was the one that would ultimately receive it. After all, he was the Deity of Death and therefore the one the fates deemed suited for keeping all souls safe or tortured. It was also him and his love who decided the fate of each soul, now that Themis was relieved from her duties. That’s how his love and Rem put it, knowing it still pained Virgil to say what he actually did. He knew he should not have felt that way, because that Goddess was the most evil and despicable being Virgil had the pleasure of killing, but that didn’t make it any better. Despite all the things she did to him and to others, despite all the pain and misery she unleashed on others, Virgil still remembered the good times.

It was long before his Tilsatki (his Purpose) manifested, at least three millennia now. He didn’t remember much of that time, but did remember how Themis (back then, he called her Moðir, or Mother, in Aldrisi) was to him, so gentle and kind. She taught him everything he used to know about the other species, until the other two of theTriad retaught him. She would take him to the Bøkas, the Grand Library of D’hirøs- his old Kingdom and the place where all Deities were formed- and read to him whenever he had bad days, whenever his then still-manifesting power trapped him in his head and made him feel as if there was no escape. He always thought that love was conditional, until one day it wasn’t. That day, it was more of a week really, was one of the worst days of his life. It was a day that saw him-

Virgil shook his head, carefully shutting down that part of him. Since he was also the Deity of Fear and Terror, any strong and dark unweaponized emotions- such as anger, hatred and fear- he felt amplified the fears of any non-Deity around him. He kept those emotions in check, only expressing them when he knew no one else could get hurt. It was why he was so glad for his love being able to get him out of his head and into reality. Especially now that Trusi was around. The last thing he wanted to do was intentionally hurt that pretty witch unless he asked for it ( ~~and oh how he begged~~ ) and that’s why he had to keep his emotions in check. When he got angry, the barriers stopping the tortured souls from escaping the Citadel of Erebos weakened. It also made most people cower in front of him, and the last thing he wanted was for Trusi to cower for that reason ~~but if it was out of lust, well. That was completely different.~~ He sometimes hated his powers, wishing he was just Death instead of having all his other Tilsatkyi. It was bad enough having Death as his Tilsatki Hăpt- Main Purpose- but Fear and Terror just made it worse. The only good thing about his Tilsatkyi was that he was also the Deity of Change, but even then he usually only witnessed catastrophic change before it occurred. It was how he knew Themis’s plan to destroy every kingdom but Quisaka, Erebos and D’hirøs, just because a sixteen-year-old wouldn’t fuck her. It made him so fucking furious, knowing she was determined to punish most of the Laegrid- the Lower Lands, which was all Kingdoms apart from Quisaka, Erebos and his homeland- because of sex. He was just glad he could save the Laegrid, even if the poor sixteen-year-old was driven to suicide by one of Virgil’s once-siblings.

Well, Virgil knew the boy would be safe in his kingdom. He knew Larry and Dot would take care of Sloane as if he was their own, their other adopted son- Kai- making sure to make him feel welcomed.

Still, the thought of Sloane dying at Insanity’s hand- they didn’t even deserve being called their given name, only their Tilsatki- made a great rage boil in his chest. His hands shook in anger, dark shadows emanating off his body. All he could think about was Sloane’s lifeless body, red covering him like a broken picture. Even his soul-self looked malnourished and twisted, and it took everything Virgil had to stop himself from resurrecting Themis just to torture her. At least the other Deities of the Revolution let him do with her what he pleased, so there would be no retribution if he did to her what she did to others. That still wouldn’t make up for the cruelty she and his siblings commited, destroying kingdoms, individuals and species on a whim just because he could.

_“ **Virgilius, stop.”**_

Virgil swooned when Rem’s voice hit him, legs buckling from the sheer force and exhaustion he felt. That’s when he remembered why he was in xyr’s wing in the first place.

_“Emi needs to go. Something about potions?”_

Remy nodded, stepping closer to Virgil.

_“I don’t care about faer right now. Sure, fae is a priority, but you’re more so. You’re making everyone fearful again, Vee. Is it Themis?”_

Virgil nodded, not wanting to say anything else.

“If I may, could I offer you my advice?”

Remy and Virgil both looked at Emi, who was dressed in a long shirt and boxers, faer skin a canvas and love-bites being Remy’s paint.

“I don’t know what’s going on at the moment, and I don’t know Themis is, but I do know this. From the signs you’re showing right now, you have trauma and are blaming yourself for whatever this Themis person did. It may not help you, but the only actions you are responsible for are your own. You cannot control other people as much as you might want to, and no-one can rewind time to change anything. Only the Deities can do that. But even then, there are consequences to everything. Just know that if this Themis did something awful, the Deities would find a way to destroy them.”

“Damn babes. Didn’t think you were a Meðferðili-nornt. You‘re good.“

If Virgil wasn‘t so into Remus and his love, he would have thought the way Emi scrunched up faer face and blinked in confusion was adorably endearing. Instead, his heart just let out a little squeal, happy Remy found such a cute witch to be with ( ~~but not as cute as his own).~~

“What‘s one of those?“ Emi asked, not understanding Betckhati (the common language of D‘hirøs and Erebos)

“Oh, uh... I think you may call them Bana-Leglist. They‘re witch-therapists basically.“

Emi blushed, playing with faer hands and refusing eye-contact with either Remy or Virgil.

“You think I could be one? Really?”

It was Virgil’s turn to smile, walking slowly to Emi and holding faer hands so fae would stop playing with faer fingers.

“We absolutely do. Not many can talk me down from my head like that. If you are brave enough, you would be the best Meðferðili-nornt in all Kingdoms.“

Emi beamed, a sunshine smile so bright Virgil had to blink several times.

"Thank you, seriously. I have to go now, but it‘ll be lovely to talk to you again Virgil. I‘ll text you later, ok Rem?“

Virgil watched Remy as Emi walked off, a dopy smile on xyr face.

“Vee? Do you believe in soulmates? I think I might have found mine.”

Virgil smiled again, nudging Remy with his shoulder.

“I didn’t believe in interspecies ones, not until I met Trusi. But now... Well. I think we just found ours."


	7. You Should've Just Let Me Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens, secrets are revealed and we meet another Deity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I'm so sorry it's taken so long. I thought I had already updated, but turns out I only updated my brotherly anxceit fic (which will be updated itself soon).  
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Abuse mention;  
> Swearing;  
> Religion mention.  
> That should be everything.  
> Happy reading (and for those who celebrate, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas and Yule),  
> Ash xx

Emi was never the smartest one in faer family. Faer sibling was the smartest kid fae ever had the pleasure to know, a shoo-in for a scholarship at Noros’s elite University for sure. Faer ma was intelligent in a different way, knowing just how to cure a person by looking at them. She could have become an Arasi, the most powerful type of witch around, if it wasn’t for faerself. It wasn’t that faer Ma ever made fae feel bad, but fae knew that they were the reason she never reached her destiny. Remus was smart in a way fae had never seen before, a mind beyond their years that rivalled even Logan’s at times. They could have used that mind of theirs to challenge the Gods and wage wars on others, so Emi was quite thankful they used it to help others and prank people. Even if the pranks were usually on faerself.

Fae however? Fae never claimed to be smart or intelligent in any way. School back in N’tambi was hard, the work too much and not enough at the same time. It satiated faer interests but fae couldn’t handle that as well as looking after Ma, helping run the family potion business, keeping Remus out of too much trouble and not abandoning Logan. So fae dropped out, and worked full-time at the potion store. Emi knew that was probably faer destiny, but fae didn’t want that. Not really.

Fae wanted to be a Bana-Leiglis. They were a type of witch-healer, like Ma, only it wasn’t physical ailments they healed. They helped people who needed emotional and mental support, people who fae saw come into faer shop everyday but could never truly get the things they needed. It wasn’t like Ma turned them away, but she didn’t have the full ability to help them in the way they needed. So they went elsewhere, and all because Emi was too scared to tell Ma exactly what fae wanted to be.

Being a Bana-Leiglis would come from two years at Noros Univeristy (Citadel Uni), five more years at Quisaka University and then a placement with the Banais- Elder Witches- at the Forest of Erebos. Fae was already going to Citadel but didn’t tell anyone, not even Remus, because the last thing fae wanted was for faer Ma to find out without it coming from faerself. And, fae didn’t even know if they could get into Quisaka University (even though that conversation with Remy and Virgil those six months ago made fem thinking that maybe, just maybe fae could do it). After all, fae was just a witch from N’tambi, the poorest village in Noros. Fae didn’t have much, having to make faer own clothes and use the neighbouring forest as a shop when they couldn’t afford to go to the Market in Trakis, the only shopping place in their kingdom that was actually affordable. Everyone knew Quisaka was full of rich people, as fancy and put-together as Janus. Fae didn’t see a lot of them, but fae knew they were high-up, probably of Royal descent. That, or they were a Deity.

Emi chuckled at that. Everyone knew Deities were too up themselves to come down to one of the Lower Kingdoms (most called it the Lower Lands, but Emi thought faer version was better). Especially not Noros. It was the poorest Kingdom but ironically had the best University around. It was so poor because the King, corrupt the day he took the throne, kept starting wars with Erebos and Quisaka. Those two High Kingdoms- A’Ghàid, in Banati (the language of Laegrid witches, and of most commoners in Noros)- quickly snuffed the wars out, spilling no blood and making the King look bad time and time again. It was no surprise that pockets of rebellion were breaking out all over Noros, spurred on by three unknown people- only known as “The Triad”- who kept adding fuels to the flames. Trusi once took faerself to a rally, and fae will never forget the sounds and sights of that riot. In that moment, fae wanted nothing more than to bare arms and fuck up the King, even if fae was usually a complete pacifist.

“What are you smiling at, hon?” Trusi signed, before handing Emi a pestle and mortar and a handful of herbs.

“Just thinking,” fae replied, grinding the herbs with the pestle and adding a bit of water to the solution.

“’Bout?”

“The people we went on a date with. It felt almost magical for me. The things that enby can do... What about you?”

Trusi blushed, crushing her own herbs up with a lot of excess force. Then she cracked her hands and glanced at Emi.

“They uh… they asked to court me again. They have ever since they asked me the first time. Like, I still don’t know why but they do. I don’t get it, but if it’s a bottom they want then I’ll happily accept. That’s all they want me for anyways, right?.”

Emi rolled faer eyes.

“You don’t court someone just because you want sex, Trusi. Remember what they taught us in A’Ghàid studies?”

Trusi nodded.

“It just feel a little too soon. Like we’ve had a few dates, we’ve only fucked five or six times and they decided they wanted to court me the day after we first met. It just seems weird.”

Emi nodded. Fae wasn’t the only one with trust issues when it came to romance, only Trusi’s were admittedly so much worse.

“I think that’s your past abuse talking, Trusi.”

“I wasn’t abuse-“

“Yes you were. Being called a freak and made to feel ashamed whenever you ate or had sex is abuse. You should never apologise for anything you haven’t done. Your lips are a part of you. Having said that, if you want them to slow down then just tell them. They can’t figure it out by themselves. They ain’t mindreaders.”

“I don’t know. I mean they seemed to know what I wanted long before I did. It was strange as fuck.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah. I bet you they’re Arasi or something. Is there a species more powerful than Arasi? I think that’s what they are.”

Emi shook faer head.

“Not that I know of. There’s T’kbaski but they’re basically extinct. There’s a few pockets of them in Quisaka, Aldrisi and Erebos, but not many. There’s also Ht’kashka but they all moved to Erebos after the Purge. And then... then there’s the Deities.”

Trusi rolled their- Emi could tell the pronouns changed because their pendant glowed yellow- eyes.

“Listen, it’s not that I don’t believe in the Deities. It’s just, there’s been a lot of shit happening lately. I thought Themis was meant to be Justice. Surely she would be able to control it? Or even put it to a stop.”

Emi nodded, not having anything else to say. Fae knew Trusi had a pretty messed up relationship with all things religious- thanks to their past- refusing to be Bana, take the Deity path or identify with any other religion out there. It was one of the only things they disagreed on.

“Ok. Well, I don’t know about you but I need to finish doing the rest of these. Do you mind serving the customers? They should all know sign. If not, just send ‘em my way?”

Trusi hummed, obviously seeing the customer that stood in the shop. They wore a tattered hoodie, ripped jeans and a torn t-shirt, somehow reminding Emi a little of Virgil. But something about them felt strange, like Virgil but in a slightly twisted way. It felt like they weren’t meant to walk the Laegrid plane, but Emi wasn’t about to freak Trusi out. They had a better sense of magic after all.

**--**

The stranger in front of Trusi wasn’t Norosi, or from any of the other Laegrid. Don’t ask Remus how they knew, because they had fucking clue. It was just a buzzing in their skull that said ‘they’re not from around here. Kill them or run.’. It felt a little like a wasp trying to plant its eggs in their brain.

“Excuse me, can I help you at all?”

“Oh, no. It’s fine. I was just listening to your conversation is all. I didn’t mean to, but that’s what happens sometimes I guess.”

The stranger smiled, so reminiscent of Virgil that Remus couldn’t help but blank for a moment. In fact, everything about this stranger looked a lot like Virgil. The only difference was red eyes, rounder ears and a slightly more stereotypically-feminine looking body.

“Like something you see?”

“Sorry, you just look like someone I know.”

“Virgil, I’m guessing?”

Remus nodded, and then their brain started working again.

“How do you know him? And why did you call him Deity-Destroyer just then? You signed his name and then signed Deity-Destroyer. Why?”

“Oh sorry. I thought he’d have told you about us. I’m his sibling. And in regards to his name, well. Themis was a thorn in all of our sides growing up... Abusive mothers… I know you and your siblings have a lot of experience with that too. They say hi, by the way.”

Remus’s stomach dropped.

“Wh… what do you mean?”

“Don’t worry. Your siblings are safe… or they will be once that bitch… that ktaski of a mother is gone.”

Remus didn’t know what to do. They understood what the stranger was saying: Virgil was a Deity; Virgil killed Themis; Virgil had a sibling (or more than one); Deities exist… And their siblings were being abused. Remus left because they were told that if they stayed, their siblings would be hurt too. But now they find out they’ve been hurt regardless? It made something terrible well inside of Remus’s chest, reverberating and buzzing until those wasps broke from the nest, destroying and killing everything in sight.

**“Little octopus, stop. It’s me. It’s Virgil. I’m right here. Jay is just behind you, ok? Just keep holding my hands and listen to the humming.”**

The humming replaced the buzzing, the wasps fading until they were nothing more than a few butterflies, flying away.

**“That’s it, moonbeam. We’re ok. Vee and I won’t let anything hurt you. Let’s go home, yeah? We’ll keep you safe.”**


	8. We Play With Fire  (We Like The Way It Burns)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the dust is cleared and Jay has a heart to heart with our lovable therapist-in-training. Then ze finally talks to Remus about what happened with Ember (Virgil's there too, of course).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovelies!  
> So this chapter is particularly hard-hitting, since abuse is talked about (there's a lot of baggage in this story, I swear). If you want me to put notes in the end, please let me know.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Janus being protective and slightly manipulative (they're sympathetic tho);  
> Past abuse;  
> Allusions to sex;  
> Swearing;  
> Keeping secrets from each other & miscommunication;  
> Body shaming;  
> Discussions of triggers;  
> Transphobia (past- is it transphobia if the person is agender?).  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx  
> Note: Remus's pronouns change in this chapter- they use they/them and he/him throughout.

Trusi was pretty shaken up. Jay could tell by the fact they refused to let go of Emi until they got to zyr and Vee’s house. Then, they attached themself to Virgil’s side, whining whenever he even thought to move away- not that he tried to move, opting to cuddle the shit out of Trusi instead of hunting Ember down, like he obviously wanted to. They were both currently in the downstairs parlour, Jay moving to the kitchen to make some tea (a potion really) in the hopes to calm Trusi’s nerves down. Ze hoped that nobody would talk to zem, but it seemed that the little Bana-Leiglis didn’t get the memo.

“Excuse me, Mister Janus, are you ok?”

“It’s Mixter Jay right now, Emi. And yes, I’m fine.”

To the best of zyr knowledge, Emi didn’t have any lie-based magic running through faer veins. Despite that, faer eyes narrowed and fae raised an eyebrow as if to say “stop bullshitting”.

“I’m sorry for getting your pronouns wrong. We both know you’re lying about my question though. You don’t need to talk to me, or to anyone until you’re ready, but bottling up your emotions to the point of an explosion isn’t a good idea.”

“My love was right when he said you’d make a good bana-leiglis. Tell me, does Trusi know you’re lying to everyone about what you do on a Friday night? I mean, they think you go to Kravis each week, but we both know where you really go. I’m sure they’d love to find out you’ve been lying about being ok with being a simple healer for the past ten or so years. Should we tell them?”

“You’re deflecting, Jay. That’s ok. I might not know you two well, but I know trauma when I see it. Being best friends with Trusi means you learn to identify those kind of signs.”

A truth, but also a lie.

“But that’s not the only reason, is it? Who hurt you? Was it a teacher? A parent? No… It was a significant other, wasn’t it?”

Emi flinched and Jay smirked. Bingo.

“Listen, selfcare is something that’s important to maintaining good mental health. I’m sure you’ve told our Trusi that a lot, eh? That applies to you as well, you know? Don’t try and take on other people’s problems before you’ve fought through your own.”

Emi nodded, hands shaking.

“And here I was, thinking I could help you.”

“And maybe one day you will. But not before you’ve fought your own battle. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? You don’t have to talk about it, but it will be good to know your triggers just in case. I like to have a record, y’see.”

“Um, I don’t have any.”

“Lie.”

“How did you- Never mind. Ok, fine. Slamming doors, heavy books hitting the floor, smashing plates, prolonged arguing and… ropes. I see a rope and I just… Wait, are you actually writing this down?”

Jay hummed, fountain pen (a gift from zyr love) scratching gently against a leather-bounded notebook.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Now, what were you saying about ropes?”

“Um… I see one and I just freak out. They… Mina, the girlfriend, didn’t take kindly to me being agender. She tied me up in the woods and… she…”

“I think that’s enough for today.”

“No… I’ve never told anyone other than Trusi. I need… I need to tell someone who wants to listen, someone who is impartial. Is that, is that ok?”

“Yes, sweetheart. It is. First step to getting better: recognise when you need help. It may feel like it’s miniscule but it’s a huge step. Continue at your own pace.”

Emi nodded, wringing faer hands.

“O… ok. She, she was nice at first. We used to go to the markets in Ga’da together every complete lunar cycle. It became our tradition and I, I loved it. Then we hit the three-year mark and she changed.”

“How?”

“She became abusive. Not physically at first- that’s when it ended- but it was still pretty bad. She made fun of my size, my glasses, my social standing. And then she met Trusi and Lo and bitched about them, calling them both freaks and any other insult you could think of. I stood up for them because no-one hurts my family and she… she backhanded me. Twice. At that point I left. I walked out and didn’t intend to return. And then… I don’t know. I went back to her because I missed her. Things got out of hand after that. She found out I was agender, courtesy of a fake friend I dumped later on, and saw it as her duty to break me out of it. Trusi… Trusi found me tied to a tree half-dead. They put Mina into a coma and we’ve never heard from her since.”

Jay could feel zyr powers stir, yelling at zem to _protectdestroythektaskchiprotect_ \- and that fae wasn’t telling the whole truth, again- but ze gently pushed them to the side.

_We’ll protect right now, but we’ll hunt down Mina later on. We’ll also ask for the full story when the ash has settled._

That promise calmed zyr powers and ze smiled at Emi.

“Do you want a hug?”

“Please? Just swear you won’t tell Remy until I’m ready? I can’t… I can’t tell xem yet.”

“Unless I think you’re in danger, I won’t. I promise.”

Sparks swirled around zyrself and Emi, the latter letting out a gasp as the magic touched faer skin. Jay smiled again- Fates aligned fae was adorable- and slowly moved towards fem, giving fem the option to move away if fae wanted to. Fae accepted the hug, nestling faer head in the crook of Jay’s neck. Ze shushed them as fae started crying, obviously letting out all the emotions fae had been repressing.

_‘Hey Rem? You might want to come to the kitchen. Emi needs some comforting. Fae opened up to me and it drained fem. If you force fem to tell you what happened and it destroys all faer progress, I’ll kill you.’_

_‘Got it. If I do that, I’ll give you Syphon myself.’_

Jay could feel Virgil chuckle at zyr and Rem’s antics, rolling his eyes as he did so.

“Remy’s coming now. If you don’t mind, I have a cup of tea that needs my attention.”

“Ok. And Jay? Thank you. I… I appreciate it. I don’t really know what just happened, but thank you.”

Jay nodded, bowing zyr head a little. Emi smiled in response, turning to see Rem appear behind fem.

“I’ll leave you to it. If you fuck on the counter, please clean it up. And that means with actual disinfectant this time Remy, not just licking it off.”

Remy flicked zem off and ze cackled, grabbing zyr tea and heading into the living room. Time for another heart-to-heart.

**--**

“Do you know who it was?”

“What do you mean?”

“The person in the shop. Do you know them? They said you were their sibling, Virge. They said a lot of things, actually.”

“E. E/eir pronouns. Eir name is Ember. E was one of my closest siblings, until Themis fucked everything up.”

“What did she do?”

Virgil sighed, looking Jay in the eye. Ze nodded and he sighed again. Here went nothing (was that the phrase? He never quite understood how to use Laegrid idioms- especially Aldrisi ones)

“Where to start? Most of the plagues and fires started in Laegrid were caused by her or her disciples… my blood-brethren. She made those who survived go insane if they didn’t submit to her reign and admit she was superior. She killed people brutally, just for fun. She… she destroyed two kingdoms because a sixteen-year-old wouldn’t sleep with her and would have done worse if it weren’t for us. And… well, I guess you could call it abuse, what she did to me and my siblings.”

“It was abuse, darling. We’ve been through this.”

Virgil looked at Jay, zyr stare probing into Virgil’s darkest parts (parts he only let zem see).

“I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m guessing you noticed the burn on my wrist last night?”

Trusi blushed, obviously remembering the events of the night prior.

“I was kinda focusing on other things if I’m honest Stormy.”

Virgil chuckled, heart fluttering in his chest when Trusi called him that nickname. He kissed Trusi’s neck in response, loving the way Trusi shivered with anticipation.

“Good, means we’re doing our job correctly.”

He continued to kiss their neck, hoping to distract both Trusi and his love long enough to avoid talking about his past. A moan proved that Trusi was obviously distracted, but he could feel his love’s stare burning into his skin.

_‘Really? You’re resulting to using sex to distract us?’_

Virgil chuckled mentally, removing his mouth from Trusi’s neck and massaging that spot instead, the sound visibly affecting Trusi (and his love, but not as much).

_‘Oh please. I can smell your arousal from here. Besides, I’m not ready to talk about it just yet.’_

Jay hummed, eliciting another moan from Trusi.

_‘Seems like someone is in the mood. I’ll leave you to it though. We’ve got an Ember to catch after-all.’_

Virgil stopped after being reminded of his sibling. As much as he wanted to do what he planned with Trusi right now, he knew he had no choice but to track down Ember and find out what was going on. He had to protect em from emself, knowing that e sometimes let eir Tilsatki get the better of em. E always meant good, but tended to forget that other species were more fragile than Deities.

Trusi’s whine broke Virgil out of his thoughts and he gently shushed them, kissing him on the lips.

“We’ll be back soon, ok little octopus. And then we’ll finish what I started, yeah?”

Trusi nodded, curling up around the tea that Jay had passed him. He murmured something into his cup and then freaked out, looking Virgil and Jay in the eye.

“You didn’t hear that, did you?”

Virgil shook his head, eyes zoning in on his shaking hands fumbling through the signs. He wanted to aggressively interrogate him but held back, knowing that would only make matters worse.

“Ok… You guys can go now. Bye!”

Virgil and Jay shared a look as Trusi quickly made their way upstairs, somehow managing not to spill any of the tea.

“He’s weird, isn’t he?”

“That they are. But I wouldn’t change them for the world. He’s… he’s perfect for us.”


	9. The black In My Tie Contains All Your Dirty Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trusi is left alone, and beings to reminisice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> Sorry this has been so long. I've been struggling a little, but it was my birthday yesterday which was nice.   
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Sexy times (not explicit, but I'll follow it up with a story on shadowwrites);  
> Swearing;  
> Past Abuse;  
> Guilt (unjustified);  
> Abandonment (past, mentioned);  
> Remus Being Remus.
> 
> That's all I think. As always, let me know if I've missed something.  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash x

Remus fucked up. It had been six months since Jay and Stormy first asked him if they could court him, and he still hadn’t agreed. And then their mouth decided to blurt out that he’d love for them to court him, despite them telling themself they would wait.

They were just so thankful neither Stormy or Jay- he needed to think of a nickname for zem (Remus knew ze was using ze/zem pronouns because Virgil told them, explaining how Deity powers worked ~~holyshitStormywasaDeity~~ and turning their heart to mush whenever he carded his fingers through their hair)- didn’t hear them. That was a conversation that needed to be tabled for a later date, when there wasn’t a rouge Deity on the loose and Remus learnt more about the powers they apparently have. Powers that were controlled by strong emotions, according to Virgil. His seemingly encyclopaedic (yes, they got that from a flashcard Lo made them. What of it?) knowledge about magicked beings made Remus want to shove both him and Logan into a room together, just to see what would happen if Lo met someone smarter than themself. It would end in either disaster, the kind of disaster that resulted in an apocalypse or a massive inter-species war- or in a bond forming that would spell trouble for any corrupt bastard out there. Remus was just glad the nerdy wolverine wouldn’t be able to meet Stormy just yet, knowing they would take one look at him and swiftly deduce the fact that he was in like. They wouldn’t call it love yet, they _couldn’t_ call it love yet, but they knew that with a little nurture that like would become brambles in his chest. Those brambles would tear his chest apart, leaving him bleeding love and hope and everything else they used to hate before they met Stormy and Jay.

Actually, it’s not like he hated the idea of love. It’s just… they had bad experience of it. Not just from hearing Emi talk about Mina (Remus had to ignore that thought, getting the urge to grab a Morningstar and whack it into her skull) but from their own experiences too. Their mother and father were a disaster waiting to happen, arguments after arguments until it got to the point where Father moved into another wing of the Palace. Roman always talked of love as if it was a beautiful thing everyone was destined to, the kind of happy endings featured in all the fables Governess used to read them back when they were kids. But Remus knew that happy endings were rare, and never happened for people like themself.

After all, they were a piece of shit found on a shoe. A baby dumped outside the palace gates, unwanted from the day they were born. If the Queen of Aldrisi hadn’t taken him and Ro in, they would have both died for sure. It only hurt knowing that he wasn’t perfect for his parents, the ones who raised and fed them. Yes, they hurt him, but part of him still thought he deserved i-

Nope. Not thinking about that.

So yeah, Remus didn’t know love. Not familial love (not the way Emi or Lo knew it), not friendship-love (although he was platonically in love with Emi) and certainly not romantic love. There was a long time where they thought they were Daki, born without the ability to have romantic love. He knew a lot of Dakis and always managed to relate to their stories, but not now.

He knew what romantic love could be now, and that was fucking terrifying. Exhilarating, yes, but scary all the same. Not just because it was kind of a first for them, but also because if they messed up they could destroy Stormy and Jay’s relationship. So they decided to keep it in. Good ole fashioned repression.

Of course, when the two got back they didn’t get the memo.

“Hey Trusi. I have to ask, what did you whisper into your mug? I think I just about picked it up, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

Remus looked at Jay and decided to do what they did best. Play dumb.

“What’s a Trusi?”

Not that dumb, idiot.

Jay chuckled, straddling Remus on the couch.

“You trying to play coy with me, Trusi? That’s not going to work, sweetheart. Especially since I can sense lies.”

There was only one species which could do that.

“You’re T’kbaski?”

Jay chuckled again, kissing Remus’s neck and moving so zyr crotch was sat above his. Remus moaned in delight and Jay smirked, rolling zyr hips in retaliation.

“Let’s go with that. I want to know what you whispered, but only if you’re ok with it. Let me know if you’re not, and we can move onto other… fun things.”

“I’m ok with it, but it’s kinda embarrassing. I promised myself I would hide it until the whole Ember thing was sorted out.”

“You needn’t worry about that. Our love is tracking em as we speak.”

“Our?”

“Yes. I assumed that’s what you whispered into the mug. You want us to court you, don’t you?"

Remus nodded, loving the way Jay could read them easily but also feeling embarrassed. They had worked so hard at keeping their walls up, only for Jay and Stormy to tear them down with just a look.

“You needn’t be embarrassed Moonbeam. Would you only want one of us to court you, or both?”

“Both? Please? I, I can’t imagine one of you without the other. You’re both… You’re both so wonderful.”

Jay smiled, leaning down to kiss Remus. Ze stopped grinding on them and sat up, moving onto the other couch. Then ze gestured for them to follow zem, positioning him to lie his head in zyr lap.

“Thank you for feeling that way. But remember that being in a relationship with us will be dangerous. You could get hurt. And then the two of us will have to hurt whoever hurt you, leading to a violent cycle of retribution.”

“Or you could just not?”

“Moonbeam, how dare you think that’s an option. Retribution is what our love does best. Especially when it involves the one we’re courting.”

“Damn right it is. What’s this talk about courting?”

“Remus wants us to court him.”

Stormy grinned, leaning down to kiss him, biting his lip and making him whine into Stormy’s mouth.

“Careful now. You keep whining like that and I won’t be able to control myself. I’ll take you apart, right here on the couch, right on Jay’s lap. You’d like that, wouldn’t you slut?”

“You did start this yourself, Virge. You can’t just leave him hanging.”

Virgil nodded thoughtfully, black eyes raking in Remus and zoning in on his lower regions.

“You’re right Jay. You prepare our slut, and I’ll make sure he gets what I promised him.”


	10. Eir Welfare Is My Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ember and Virgil finally see each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> This is a quick one. I've a few chapters pre-written so I can work on the brotherly anxceit fic.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Implied self-hated;  
> Forcing someone to do something they want to do, but can't do without help.  
> I think that's it, but y'all know the drill by now. If there's any other triggers, let me know.

Ember made eir way through Aldrisi, powers thrumming in anticipation of what was about to happen. Freeing Roman, Patton and Tobie, and taking them under eir wing, might not prove eirself to Remus right away, but it felt good. Helping people and Shielding them against monsters is what eir Tilsatkyi were, after all.

“Hey, Ember. We need to talk. **Now.”**

Ember flinched, turning around to see eir brother standing there, leaning against the alley wall. His eyes were black, white flashes occasionally appearing. Ember instantly knew e was fucked.

Instincts kicked in.

“If you run, I’ll have to chase y- **and you’re gone.”**

Ember legged it through the alleyways, feeling the shadows eir brother emitted nipping at eir heels. When e got to the market, which was worryingly empty, e stopped running. E thought for a minute that e had lost Virge (was e still allowed to call him Virge?) but shadows wrapping around eir body soon rendered that thought inaccurate. E struggled, feeling like a deer trapped in a lion’s powerful embrace, but the shadows only grew tighter. Virgil walked in front of em, kneeling down and smiling a little.

“There’s an Banasti phrase Emi taught me: déjà vu. It means that something feels like it’s happened before, or it could be reminiscent of a memory. This sure brings me back.”

E struggled again, the shadows tightening until e couldn’t move. E could feel them slowly sap eir strength and make eir brother stronger.

“Shh. You know that the more you struggle, the worse it is. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well maybe I want you to.”

Virgil froze, and Ember quickly realised e blurted that thought out, instead of internalising it.

“Haha, that was a joke.”

“We all know that’s not the case. You’re still a shitty liar.”

The Deity of Lies’ voice was just as smooth as it used to be, deftly shutting down all eir defences. The shadows slowly unwrapped themselves from eir body, the last one forcefully shoving em into Virgil’s open arms.

“We’re talking about that statement later. But right now I want to know why you decided to show your face to Tr- Remus, and mess with his head the way you did.”

“I didn’t intend to. We all know I hate using that power intentionally, especially on those who have been claimed my… my loved ones.”

Ember blushed at eir words, Virgil cooing in eir ear.

“Aw. You love me.”

“Save the bonding for later, darling.”

Virgil flicked Jani, who had situated herself behind em- when did that happen?- causing her to hiss in response.

“He also said you seemed to regret choosing Themis over me. You know you had no choice, right? Your powers hardly sustain you as it is. Without that magic in your blood, you would have died.”

“Way to make me feel useless, Virge.”

Ember once again blushed when e realised that e called eir brother Virge, instead of the name e probably should call him.

“ _You know what I meant to say, Ember. Deal.”_

Ember flinched at Virgil’s use of L’akto- the language the two (along with Ellie and Nate) learnt in order to talk with no prying ears being able to listen in. It had been so long since they heard that language spoken by someone as fluent as em, around a millennia now, and it hurt so much. E really missed eir brother.

“Shh, little one. I’m here. You don’t need to hold onto that pain anymore. We’re here for you. **_I swear it on the Souls of the Fates.”_**

The dam that had been holding back eir tears broke, eir brother’s arms tightening and Jani’s arms snaking around em, stroking eir hair and shushing. She started humming, the sound calming down the instinct that begged for em to run, to get far away from the other Deities, Deities who were so much more powerful than emself.

For once, Ember refused to give into the instincts and just basked in the warmth. E felt some semblance of peace wash over em, those instincts finally dwindling away.

“How did you find me?”

“It wasn’t that hard. You didn’t Shield, sweetheart. That was on purpose wasn’t it?”

E nodded in response to Jani’s question. E knew Virge was looking for em- had been since Themis was killed and e ran like a fucking berk- so e thought e might as well help eir brother out.

“Your internal monologue is full of self-loathing, Ember. Be kinder to yourself.”

Jani’s words reminded em of the time e had to give Roman a “be-kinder-to-yourself-love-you’re-f…ecking-awesome-dude” talk. If only he could see eir now. He would definitely have called em out for being a hypocrite. Patty (the pronouns had changed since e went to rescue them; E could feel it) and Tobie would have baked em another batch of cookies just because they could.

“And why are you here anyways? This is Remus’s old kingdom.”

“He has three siblings. They’re just as badly abused as he was. I swear I had no intention of meddling with things but Patty is too damn sweet to be broken like that. Tobie is only three, for Fates sake, and Roman has a severe case of self-sacrificitis. He doesn’t realise he deserves to be happy too. You know his mother wants to marry him off to a thirty-five-year-old woman, hoping it would cure the gay within him? He’s a fucking thirteen-year-old, and she thinks that’s ok? Ktaski.”

“ **Calm down, Emmie. You know what happens when you get angry. Just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. That’s it. Just keep breathing in time with me. Shh.”**

Ember listened- not that e couldn’t. That voice commanded em to do whatever Virgil wanted; not even Jay or Remy could ignore it- and started breathing, in through eir nose and out of eir mouth. E felt the anger in eir chest (and the ripples that e unknowingly summoned) abide little by little.

“We’re going to help.”

“What?”

“You heard your brother. We’re going to help. Only, we’ll do it our way and with the help of Remus and members of the Revolution. It’s about time that family got the happy ending they deserve.”


	11. Lost In A Familiar Place (Your Words Will Bring Me Home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Self-loathing;  
> Past abuse;  
> Swearing;  
> Toxic relationships mentioned (Remy thinks about doing something that is extremely controlling but doesn't actually do it).  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx

There was this Aldrisi analogy, that time waits for no man. Virgil never really understood it (Deities and time didn’t go hand in hand, and his love basically controlled it. The effect time had on others wasn’t something Virgil ever experienced). Then he met Ember again. It had been so long since the two siblings were around each other that he was beginning to forget what e looked like. He had this image of a young child (one who used she/her pronouns) with golden hair (almost the colour of liquid sun) and bright purple eyes. He guessed that Themis corrupted em so much that eir purity left, old appearance morphing into an almost splitting- was that the right word? Oh, Aldrisi was hard- image of his own reflection. The red-brown eyes, pale skin and black hair made Ember look like a mirror version, although he noticed that when e fell asleep in his arms, eir hair lightened a little. It was scary, but familiar too. After all, their Tilsatkyi went hand in hand with each other. Flight-or-fight was what Fear and Terror (and sometimes his other Tilsatkyi) caused. That flight-or-fight caused eir other Tilsatki- Protection and Shielding- which is why eir instincts often took over ( ~~it was also why both himself and the other members of the Triad learnt how to carefully sap out eir power and calm eir instincts).~~ All Virgil wanted was to keep his siblings (his old family) safe, but he hadn’t been doing that ever since Themis tortured him the first time. He had failed at his job at big brother and that knowledge made an icy cold something settle in his chest.

“Jay told me that you were having big brother issues. Talk to Trusi, stormy.”

“Stormy? That’s my name now, eh?”

Trusi nodded, smiling that moonlight smile. It was the kind of smile that was bright but mysterious, full of scars and pain but still so fucking beautiful. Ver beauty took his (and Jay’s) breath away every time. Ve was stunning, even when he was crying or angry or in the middle of an episode. Ve was even more radiant when he was happy, and right now ve was pulchritudinous (he loved that word. Just the way it fell off his tongue made him beam).

“What’s going on? You thinking of your sibling?”

“Yeah. It’s been… well, longer than your first relatives were in power. E deserves the world. E deserves a better brother than I could ever be. I’ve failed em, and the others.”

“Have I failed my siblings for not wanting to get them hurt? Have I failed my siblings for letting Mother throw me out and never return? Answer me. Have I?”

“No, but-”

“No buts. Hehe… Anyways. How on earth are you different? Were you the one who kicked your siblings out?”

“No, but-”

“Then how is it your fault? How did you fail them?”

“Because I left, Remus! I left them, knowing the things that cunt would put Ember through. I left, knowing that ktaskchi would hurt them the way they hurt me. And not only did I leave, but I took Jay and Remy with me, the only other people who could protect em from emself. So don’t you dare tell me how I didn’t fail em, or the others, because you’d just be lying.”

“Ok. Obviously I won’t be able to get through to you today. Can we at least talk about how you’re a Deity, because I’m still freaking out about that?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, smirking. In one fluid motion he had Trusi in his lap, hands on his thighs.

“Oh really? Tell me, how am I freaking you out?”

“Not you, just generally. Like, you’re the reason Fear and Terror exists. You’re Death. I should be afraid of you, but I’m not. In fact, between you two I’ve never felt safer. I’m just glad Jay isn’t a Deity because I probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Virgil wanted to tell vem the truth, but it was Jay’s secret, not his. So he kept quiet, kissing vem gently.

“I’m glad you feel safer around us both. You deserve to feel protected and never afraid of what could happen next. You deserve the chance to live in the moment and not be afraid of a perceived threat. That’s Ember’s job.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what is e the Deity of?”

“Flight-or-Fight, Shielding and kinda Protection. They’re also technically instinctual reactions, but that’s not exactly a Tilsatki.”

“A Tisaki?”

“Tilsatki. Plural is Tilsatkyi. It basically means Purpose or Power. So my Tilsatkyi are Death, Terror, Change, Fear and Chaos.”

“Cool. Is that a normal amount, or do other Deities have more?”

“Most have less, actually. O… A good friend of mine has around twelve, but only five are Tilsatkyi Børœs- main powers. Another has only one Tilsatki Børœs and no other minor ones. It depends on the Deity.”

Trusi nodded, humming as Virgil gently ran one hand down ver sides, wrapping ver arms around his neck so he could play with ver soft hair with the other.

“You’re going to make me fall asleep if you’re not careful.”

Virgil smirked.

“I know. When’s the last time you properly slept, and not through us fucking you to sleep?”

“I think… ten days ago.”

“Yeah, you need to sleep. Rest your head on me love, and go off into dreamland. **Sweet sleep.”**

**--**

Remy was worried about xyr datemate. Fae had changed ever since fae talked to Jani in the kitchen, crying more but refusing to talk to xem, only going to Jani’s when fae was upset. Remy understood, but part of xem wanted to march into Jani’s room and demand that she stopped speaking to fem.

Of course, that was hella toxic and Remy didn’t vibe that way, ta muchly (xe loved Ba’ai- a common tongue of Noros. The way words rolled off the tongue, and the slang they used? Incredible). Still xyr internal dilemma was obvious to xyr best friends and they cornered xem when Trusi was asleep in xyr room, Emi refusing to leave their side. Ember was in the other side of the house, not wanting to speak to anyone, not even Virgil.

“ **Spill**.”

Remy flinched at Virgil’s voice, wincing when xe felt Jani’s arms tug xem onto the sofa. Shadows covered xyr body, stopping xem from turning tail and running away.

“Spill what?”

“Don’t act coy with us, Rem. You’ve been glaring daggers at me ever since Emi talked to me in the kitchen that time. What’s wrong? Nothing is going on between us, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“No, I know. Fae doesn’t vibe that way. Faer strictly a one-person enby.”

“Then if it’s not jealousy, what is it?”

“It is jealousy, kinda. I guess, I want fem to open up to me. To know that fae can talk to me about anything. Of course, I’m happy the therapist finally has somebody to talk to, but that doesn’t abate my feelings. I’m just… It feels like K’tya all over again.”

Jani flinched at that, remembering all too well the only time they had ever truly fallen out.

“Ok. Your feelings are valid, regardless of how false they are. You deserve to be happy and if that means I have to sacrifice my friendship with your datemate, then so be it. “

 **“Don’t! I mean** … Please, don’t do that. Emi deserves a friend who fae can talk to. Someone who isn’t me.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, but I feel so jealous and I hate it. It’s wrong.”

“You like fem, Remy. And you’re scared of losing fem. Just don’t push fem away and you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, and you have us this time. Come on, **we’re having a cuddle night**. We miss our sassy twink.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. **You love us.”**

Remy rolled xyr eyes and settled xemself in the middle of where Jani and Virgil were sitting. Jani pulled xyr legs onto her lap and Virgil pushed xyr head onto his lap, gently kissing xyr forehead.

“I love do y’all, by the way.”

“We know Rem. And we love you back.”


	12. Brother, I'm Scared (Please Don't Quit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil goes to confront Ember, only to find em dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> This one is pretty rough. There's a suicide attempt by Ember but it fails. That's the warning for this chapter.  
> Other cws are unhealthy coping mechanism, food and implied sex (they need better coping methods)  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx

Virgil made his way to Ember’s suite, plate of Katali (fried noodles and duck, with a slightly spicy sauce) in his hands. He knew his sibling loved that food when e was younger, and hoped e still did.

He hadn’t seen his little sibling since e came back home with him. He was hoping to get em back to Erebos so they could find Nate and Ellie, but that was difficult when e wouldn’t even leave eir rooms.

“Ember? Please, we need to talk. Don’t lock yourself in your rooms.”

“Leave me alone, brother. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You won’t. And even if you try, we won’t let you.”

“You should have killed me when you got the chance. I’m unpredictable around Remus. I push their powers out of them and into the world. I’m the reason their powers are so uncontrollable.”

“So help me train them. Help Jay learn what our Remus is. And don’t ever think I’ll kill you. You’re my sibling. I’ll never hurt you intentionally. All you need to do is ask for help, and we’ll be here for you.”

A lock clicked and Ember opened the door, looking so broken.

“Help, please?”

Virgil’s eyes zoned in on the black dribbling down eir wrists. He could feel his Fear and Terror radiating off him. Usually he would have been able to control himself, but he was terrified of losing his sibling. The plate of food dropped to the floor, his Shadows collecting it before it made a mess.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… I need help.”

“ **JANUS! REMY! HELP!”**

Virgil yelled so loud he felt the walls vibrate. Remy and Jay were right beside him, Remy gasping at Ember’s wrists.

“Do your thing, Rem.”

“Hey, Makrembi. Sleep for me.”

Ember’s body swayed and Remy caught em, quickly passing them to Jay who Vanished, Virgil and Remy following suit.

They arrived in the Sanctuary, a place where Jay could do zyr magic without hurting the witches upstairs.

“Goddess Bright, Goddess Mine. Heal my sibling-in-law and steal their soul back from the clutches of eir brother. Goddess Bright, Goddess Mine. Heal the soul that was smashed by your cousin. Goddess Bright… Goddess Mine. Save eir from Death.”

A pale yellow glow filled the room as Jay worked zyr magic, praying to their aunt’s step-mother’s wife’s distant half-sister (that was a story Virgil didn’t want to think about, wanting to destroy his love’s family) and using zyr power to stop em from dying.

Then ze screamed and collapsed, the glow fading. Ember’s eyes shot open, gasping. Remy and Virgil shared a look and ran to Ember and Jay respectively.

“Jay, please be alive. If I see you in Erebos, I’ll be fucking pissed.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll ever die.”

“… You dick. Did… did you just meme me?”

Jay nodded, smirking a little.

“Our Trusi has been showing Remy and myself Noros culture.”

“Shit. Trusi. My Essences, they… If they’re both up there…”

“Go. We’ll handle Ember.”

Virgil Shadowed to the living room. His heart stopped in his chest as he saw Emi collapsed on the floor. Trusi was bent over fem, shaking fem as much as she could.

“Please. Emi please. Don’t you dare die on me.“

“Fae won’t die. Deity of Death remember? The potion called D’zemba should work on fem. Get me one of them, a cup and lavender.”

“Ok.”

Virgil watched Trusi run to the kitchen and ran his fingers through Emi’s hair. He could hear faer heartbeat, but it was very slow. He placed his other hand on faer chest, a black glow being absorbed by faer skin. He was relieved to hear faer heart beat normally again. He looked up in time to see Trusi come back with the D’zemba, lavender and cup. Virgil beckoned Trusi over, carefully taking the items. He poured the D’zemba into the cup, scattering the lavender into the potion. Then he muttered a prayer to- and for- Jay (who was also technically the Goddess of Witches. That was an extremely long story). He gave the potion back to Trusi before positioning Emi in his arms. He held Emi up with one arm (feeling concerned at being able to feel faer ribs and spine). The other was used to bring the D’zemba to faer mouth. Fae drank and he hummed, visibly relaxing Trusi behind him. The D’zemba went down faer throat and he put the cup down, glad the spell stopped fem from choking.

He Shadowed to the sofa, leaning fem on him. Fae turned in faer sleep, cuddling up to him. Fae positioned faer head in his lap, and he instinctively ran a hand through faer hair. He looked at Trusi who was smirking.

“Don’t you dare.”

“What? It’s cute. Big bad Stormy cuddling Emi. It’s adorable.”

“Fae are.”

Virgil blushed when he said that. He glared at Trusi who was smirking, and he flipped her off.

“Don’t tell anyone I said that, or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“Kinky.”

Trusi hesitated for a moment, coming to sit on Virgil’s other side.

“Fae’ll be ok, right?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about this, my love. Fae won’t be in Erebos just yet. Fae’ve got a lot of years left ahead of fem.”

Trusi nodded, relaxing again. He lent over to kiss her on the head. Trusi blushed, as beautiful as ever, when they made eye contact and she lowered her eyes. Virgil tucked a finger under her chin and gently lifted her head up.

“Why so shy, my love?”

“You keep calling me your love. Jay calls me love or darling or moonbeam. I don’t have any good nicknames for either of you.”

“I quite like Stormy.”

“It isn’t romantic though.”

Virgil smiled.

“I get it. I can help you think of nicknames for us both, if that’s easier? Does Emi and the others have nicknames?”

“Yeah. Emi’s is Flowerbud. Lo’s is Specs. Their Ma is Tigress. Ro was Princey and Patton Little Songbird. Remy is either Somnus or Blossom. I just don’t have one for you two yet.”

“I like Blossom for Remy. Xe will claim xe hates it but secretly xe’ll love it.”

“How do you know?”

“Xe’s like my little sib. We once thought about dating but decided it was too weird. The three of us have always been close, even when Themis was around. Xe- and Jay- taught me how to master my powers so I don’t knock people out as much.”

Then Virgil noticed something.

“How are you awake?”

“I don’t know. I heard a voice in the back of my head telling me to fall unconscious but I just told it to fuck off.”

“You told my power, one that could literally paralyse a Deity to fuck off… and it did?”

Trusi nodded.

“Fuck, you’re amazing. My amazing love.”

“Y’all better not start fucking with Emi near you.”

Trusi blushed and Virgil flicked Remy off, Jay smacking xyr butt in retaliation.

“Why don’t we head up to our bedroom, Virge? Ember is safe in bed and you can talk to em later.”

Virgil nodded before gently dislodging Emi from his lap. He grabbed Trusi by the collar, marching her up to his and Jay’s room. He pushed her into one of the walls, and kissed her, until her knees buckled and she moaned out.

“Gods aligned. You’re completely beautiful. I want to ravish you.”

Trusi whimpered, eyes rolling back in her head as Virgil pressed a thigh up against her crotch. She ground down, head lolling. Virgil grabbed her head and lifted it up, making sure he could press hickies on the tanned skin.

Trusi moaned again. Virgil was about to let her explode, only for Jay to sneak over. Ze nibbled on her ear and pushed a hand into her front zip. Virgil didn’t see what happened, but knew from the whine that Jay had stopped her from releasing.

“Let’s take our time, love. I want to see her be torn into pieces.”

Virgil nodded. At this point he would do anything to stop worrying about Ember. Sex was how he coped. Both Jay and Emi would say it was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but he didn’t care. Getting out of his head by making his partners whine was the most fun this Deity could have.

“Please, Master. Please, Sir. Please. Please. Pl… Please.”

Virgil let Jay take over, watching them both. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such wonderful soulmates, but he was so darn happy.

He was about to join in again, only to hear loud knocking.

“Remus! Remus! Remus!”

Trusi pulled away and ran to the door, hearing Emi screech.

“What’s wrong?”

“Logan! It’s Logan. She’s gone missing.”


End file.
